Girl Born Brave

Girl walks into a doctor’s office…

I have been hit by that awful migraine monster. 

About three weeks ago, I began experiencing moderate migraines. As my mother has suffered from debilitating and severe migraines for years, she started filling in the holes and advising me on how to properly take care of myself. Ice on my head helps. Taking more pain meds helps. 

My powder (make-up) that I’ve used for at least 12 years now triggers them. 

They’ve become so bad, I spent an entire weekend eating very little and sleeping a lot, watching movies on my laptop when I could stay awake. 

After I told my doctor all this, he said: 

You’ve always had mild migraines; you just called them headaches. 

Which is partly true. But I’m not a headache kind of person. I never got them with any regularity, and could go months between them. I am used to my body being in pain, not my mind. 

But now, my brain is fighting against me, and I’m fucking scared. 

Pre-Existing Condition Insurance Plan

I was lucky enough to land on this, the Pre-Existing Condition Insurance Plan run by the US government, and was wondering if anyone else has either applied or gotten accepted by it? 

As someone under 30 who has been denied every year for health insurance since graduating from college, I’m desperate for anything that would provide me the opportunity for insurance. Being so young makes getting Disability very difficult, and since I don’t have a lot of documentation because, well, I haven’t been able to work, and thus *afford* doctors’ visits, my case isn’t very strong. 

(I don’t want to get into all that, as it’s contradictory and very not on my side.)

I would love to be able to enroll in something and get the testing and medication I truly need. Cost has been the barrier between me and less pain, proper back alignment, knowing if my tumor’s come back or not, and so much more. 

Is it tacky to start your own health fundraiser? I need $211 a month for this plan, and am coming up short most months. 

julie2419 asked: Thank You for your video!!! I am an 'older' person but I have been chronically ill since I was 12 with asthma.Over the years other illness and pain have come into my life...emphysema (no, I did not smoke), fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, IBS, and other 'things'.I totally understood your comments about doing errands when one has pain and no energy. Pacing and not overdoing is important but difficult. Would you comment about that.

Knowing your limits is very important. 

But the only way you can discover them is to hit them. Whenever you need a day or two to “recover,” you’ve found a limit. When you’re tired and start to ache, you’re about to hit one. Our bodies give us a warning, but we often don’t want to admit that we feel them because we don’t want to admit that we’re less-than-normal. It’s a lot of noise in our heads and our will that have us falling over the edge. 

I spoke about this in my first video, but I went to a party and drank even though I knew I’d pay for it. I think there’s a difference between not knowing you have a limit and knowingly pushing past them. It’s the price of attempting to live a wild, authentic life when your body moves at a snail’s pace. 

I work with micromovements. They’re little 5-10 minute tasks that can be easily done and build up to a project finished. Instead of grabbing supplies and presents and sitting down to wrap them for a half hour, break it apart. Gather supplies. Then cut the paper. Then wrap a few. It might not seem like you’re doing much, but they add up. 

Once we accept that those mean thoughts in our heads - thoughts accusing you of being lazy or weak - are nothing but falsehoods, it becomes easier to believe what we do today is enough. It always is. 

We’re surviving our conditions, brave warrior women with big hearts and strong wills.